Turning

1
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35 to 44

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2.00

(4 Reviews)

Ropo, an ex-convict, seeks redemption by organizing a birthday celebration for Chalmers, an acquaintance from his youth who recently saved his life. But not all is as it seems.

(4 reviews)
Script is rated #1 in category Champion
In Folio
@ Coco Rebel

Ropo, at a young age, experiences the rich cultural tapestry of a gospel church, where Chalmers, an unconventional white boy, stands out with his unique dance style. Despite societal norms, Ropo appreciates Chalmers’ authenticity, but fails to stand up for him during a showdown between him and Benny, a friend that Ropo looks up to.

Years later, a traumatic encounter with the police changes Ropo’s life. Chalmers intervenes, showcasing a genuine bond that transcends racial boundaries. Ropo’s perception of race and identity evolves, setting the stage for their intertwined destinies.

Ropo, now determined to make amends, embarks on a mission, engaging with Benny, now a radio host, and negotiating for a prime-time slot. The encounter with Benny and Leesha, who both witnessed past events, adds layers to the narrative, exploring guilt, forgiveness, and the consequences of actions.

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This story is only half way there. I am considering it’s direction and will upload the full script when I have completed it. Any suggestions are appreciated in the comments.

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ScriptBeat

I’m enjoying the story so far and hope you have the opportunity to complete it. Your courage in addressing the concept of misappropriation and the direction you’ve chosen is commendable! Please keep writing; I’m eager to see how it unfolds. Dialogue is also good. I can see how you may be stuck on the direction… Read more »

PROS
Concept is Brave.
Dialogue is believable and interesting.
Inciting incident happens in the first pages.
CONS
A couple of typos.
Some formatting issues.
Time passage between events needs to be clearer.
Inciting incident is a little cliché.
Last edited 1 year ago by ScriptBeat
MPerlick

This is an excellent story. All I can add is how you can make it better. The most important thing is making this a spec script that can be sold. The number one priority is to keep your dialogue and voice-over lines short, one to three lines unless absolutely necessary. The beginning opens with a… Read more »

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